• The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon, you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.


• The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage, you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen.


• The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.


• The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "F*ck you!"


• The fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.

10% of the women had sex within the first hour of their first date
20% of the men had sex in a non-traditional place
36% of the women favor nudity
45% of the women prefer dark men with blue eyes
46% of the women experienced anal sex
70% of the women prefer sex in the morning
80% of the men have never experienced homosexual relations
90% of the women would like to have sex in the forest
99% of the women have never experienced sex in the office.

Conclusion
Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day.

Moral
Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it!

First

फ़िज़ाओं के बदलने का इँतज़ार ना कर,
आँधियों के रुकने का इँतज़ार ना कर,
channel बदल और FTV लगा ले बच्चा,
ESPN पर सानीया के झुकने का इँतज़ार ना कर।


Second

कस्ती तूफ़ान से निकल सकती है,
तकदीर किसी भी वक़्त बदल सकती है,
हौसला रख, channel ना बदल,
सानीया मिर्ज़ा किसी भी वक़्त झुक सकती है।

A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you.
While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is classic!

1. Don't change horses . . . until they stop running.


2. Strike while the . . . bug is close.


3. It's always darkest before . . . Daylight Saving Time.


4. Never underestimate the power of . . . termites.


5. You can lead a horse to water but . . . how?


6. Don't bite the hand that . . . looks dirty.


7. No news is . . . impossible.


8. A miss is as good as a . . . Mr.


9. You can't teach an old dog new . . . math.


10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll . . . stink in the morning.


11. Love all, trust . . . me.


12. The pen is mightier than the . . . pigs.


13. An idle mind is . . . the best way to relax.


14. Where there's smoke there's . . . pollution.


15. Happy the bride who . . . gets all the presents.


16. A penny saved is . . . not much.


17. Two's company, three's . . . the Musketeers.


18. Don't put off till tomorrow what . . . you put on to go to bed.


19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and . . . you have to blow your nose.


20. There are none so blind as . . . Stevie Wonder.


21. Children should be seen and not . . . spanked or grounded.


22. If at first you don't succeed . . . get new batteries.


23. You get out of something only what you . . . see in the picture on the box.


24. When the blind lead the blind . . . get out of the way.

And the WINNER and last one!


25. Better late than . . . pregnant.

1. If you think a girl is beautiful, she'll always have a boyfriend to confirm that
2. The nicer she is... the quicker you will be dumped!!!!!
3. The more the makeup, worse the looks...
4. 99% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 1% would always be in your college.
5. The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.
6. If by any chance the girl you like, likes you too, she will let you know in about 10 years from now, when you are committed...
7. The more you ignore a girl, the more she'll want to be friends with you.
8. Theory of relativity... the more you run towards a hot chick... the more she goes away from you...
Rule 1:
Even if you got her out alone... just when you are about to let her know about your feelings...she will spot a long lost friend
Corollary:
The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything
Axiom 1:
The more dedicated you are to the girl, the longer it takes before things work out, but ultimately it will (somesmile for the guys)

9. The day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be the day when-
1. You are dressed badly
2. You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
3. Have a bad hair day
10. All the good girls are either nuns or married .the rest go around with you and ruin your money, health and leave you a total wreck.
11. The more seriously you like a girl... the more seriously her dad will hate you
12. The love you shower a girl with is directly proportional to the number of bullets her dad will be showering at you

There was an old man, a boy and a donkey. They were going to town and it was decided that the boy should ride. As they went along they passed some people who thought that it was a shame for the boy to ride and the old man to walk.

The man and boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they changed positions. Later, they passed some more people who thought that it was a real shame for that man to make such a small boy walk.

The two decided that maybe they both should walk. Soon they passed some more people who thought that it was stupid to walk when they had a donkey to ride.

The man and the boy decided maybe the critics were right so they decided that they both should ride. They soon passed other people who thought that it was a shame to put such a load on a poor little animal. The old man and the boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they decided to carry the donkey.

As they crossed a bridge they lost their grip on the animal and it fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story is...if you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass.