A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not.
Advantage: Pussy.

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy.

24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy.

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
Advantage: Beer.

Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Pussy.

Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage: Pussy.

The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

जो हर बात पर टोक-टोक कर तुम्हारी हर आदत बदल डाले
और एक साल बाद बोले "अब तुम पहले जैसे नहीं रहे"

Our communication - Wireless
Our dress - Topless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our food - Fatless
Our labour - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Valueless
Our follies - Countless
Our arguments - Baseless
Our boss - Brainless
Our Job - Thankless
Our Salary - Very less

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss, but
I only slept with you, because I was pissed

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty And so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime

• A big, juicy worm always gets a fish excited.
• You don't have to eat a fish while it's still flopping around.
• You can take a leak in the bush anytime you want.
• Stroking your rod won't piss off a trout.
• Sipping a beer and scratching your balls is all the foreplay expected of you.
• Anything you stick in a fish's face, it eats.
• A fish will never gag, choke, or come up for air.
• A red snapper won't cry if you call it a flounder.
• You wear rubbers on your feet, not on your dick.
• If you want a bigger pole, you can have a bigger pole.
• A smart fish knows when to keep it's mouth shut.
• It's okay to cook a fish to make it taste good.
• Fish bite for a guy of 60, same as they do for a guy of 20.
• You're never called a jerk when you throw back an ugly fish.
• Fish are real happy when you pick up your gear and go home.